Thursday, February 24, 2011

Moving On From The Loss

One of the most difficult things a person can endure is the loss of a relationship. It can be incredibly hard and feels like a permanent loss. There's not only the grief from losing someone important in your life, but the pain of seeing your hopes and dreams of a future life together disappear as well. The relationship has now ceased to exist, leaving at least one of the people involved filled with emptiness and sadness. This is the hardest part - having to totally readjust your view of how you saw your life unfolding in the next 5 to 10 years and suddenly you can't see the future at all.

Basically, it's no one fault. In general, breakups happen because the two simply can't find happiness together. Either one or the other realizes that they aren't a perfect match and they decide that it's time to move on. Often they move on, emotionally, long before they move on physically. Aloofness, coldness, a tendency to start arguments are all signs of someone beginning to pull away.

Even though it can be the hardest thing in the world to do, you have to let them go. If you push him/her won't end up to both of you being happy, the equation isn't meant to be. For your own sake, as well as theirs, let go and move on - allowing them to do the same. Someone of your dreams may be just around the corner waiting for you. If you don't move on, you'll never find them!

Sometimes letting go just happens after you've let yourself grieve and rage and whatever else you need to do. Other times, people have to deliberately and consciously focus on letting go. It is tempting to hold on, and scary to let go. Saying to yourself that you are letting go of your ex-partner can be helpful. Interrupting yourself when you get stuck thinking or talking about him/her and redirecting your focus onto something else is all part of letting go.

How do you deal with the sadness in the meantime? First of all, stop kicking yourself. You are worthy of being loved! This particular relationship failed, you didn't. Learn from this lesson and move on. Don't keep thinking about this person, by doing so you're just giving them more and more power to hurt you.

Act as though you've moved on, and before you know it - you will have moved on. Smile will help you to get through it. Life's too short and precious not to be lived with a smile on your face. Just keep saying, "I'm moving on." Pretty soon, you will have done just that. You will feel stronger and lighter for having done so.

In the meantime, keep busy with daily activities. And if you have someone to talk to, do so. But try to avoid conversations centering around the loss. Concentrate on what you have rather than what you've lost. Let yourself know that you won't always feel this way.

Above all, remember, love will come around again. But if you're looking back, you'll miss it! Look forward and concentrate on getting the most from life. Someone is out there waiting for you. The sooner you move on, the sooner you'll find real, lasting love. You deserve it!